First Memories
So this is actually a funny thing to talk about because I am literally writing a book that is based around memories and the thought process of how they work.
Anyhow, my first memory is actually really bizarre to me. It was sort of a out of body experience. It is really weird to explain considering that I have only ever had this sensation twice in my entire life.
My first memory is this: I was asleep and when I was a little bitty I slept under my pillows. I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me. So I had to have been 4 or around 4 at the time that this happened. So while I was asleep my mom brought the baby in to help wake me for the day. My sister climbed on top of my pillow while I was sleeping and began bouncing on my head. Of course as a small child and even now, I have no upper body strength. You can imagine the panic that set in when I couldn't get her off and was thrashing about.
You know those scenes in movies where something happens to the person and they zoom to a specific spot revealing that they left something there or have a realization. I had that zoomy moment as I cam up for air. Like everything zoomed into me in that one moment. I realized that I was alive and that I was a person who is capable of dying.
It was just the first moment of my life where everything lined up and I had thoughts and knew that the world is a real place. Who knows, this could be why I have such a fear of dying.
Memories play such a weird role in shaping who we are.
Always,
Jac
Anyhow, my first memory is actually really bizarre to me. It was sort of a out of body experience. It is really weird to explain considering that I have only ever had this sensation twice in my entire life.
My first memory is this: I was asleep and when I was a little bitty I slept under my pillows. I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me. So I had to have been 4 or around 4 at the time that this happened. So while I was asleep my mom brought the baby in to help wake me for the day. My sister climbed on top of my pillow while I was sleeping and began bouncing on my head. Of course as a small child and even now, I have no upper body strength. You can imagine the panic that set in when I couldn't get her off and was thrashing about.
You know those scenes in movies where something happens to the person and they zoom to a specific spot revealing that they left something there or have a realization. I had that zoomy moment as I cam up for air. Like everything zoomed into me in that one moment. I realized that I was alive and that I was a person who is capable of dying.
It was just the first moment of my life where everything lined up and I had thoughts and knew that the world is a real place. Who knows, this could be why I have such a fear of dying.
Memories play such a weird role in shaping who we are.
Always,
Jac
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