Open Letter- To the past, present, and future
I saw.
You seemed to tried to hide it but I did see. Considering what this is I'm not sure how you planned to hide it from me. I always was scared of this day because I wasn't sure how I would react or feel. I didn't want to experience pain from the stabbing of the heart trying to rip from my chest the way it felt when I discovered that you truly were moving forward. I didn't want to experience the loneliness and shamefulness that I felt when you came to me cause you were hurt but didn't actually want back what I wanted but I gave into what you wanted.
I didn't feel anything. Not even a pring of sadness tickled across my heart. No anger when it was brought up to me several times from people wanting to remind me of the past. It was just another day for me. Something that meant nothing to me and that made others excited for themselves.
I guess that is my sign that I have finally moved on and cut all the ties that I had connected. Just not caring that it happen. Not being effected by something that was there for so long.
I want to thank you though. You have been the biggest lesson of my entire life, especially since you have been there for most of it. I thought things were going to turn out different, most of us did but you make choices in your life and it takes you elsewhere. I have learned so much about myself and there is so much more to learn. I hide myself away hoping that I could fit in that cookie cutter shape that everyone liked but I am not that cookie cutter. I am actually a really awesome person. I am kind and soft. I am slow to anger and easy to forgive. I rarely give up but I don't let any in. I am a long laugh and a quiet cry. I am a rainbow in a hurricane. There is so much more to me than one layer.
I am worthy and perfect with plenty of imperfections. I am lovable even when the storm rages around me. This makes me valuable and I'm sorry that you never saw any value within me. I have finally seen it and eventually someone else will too.
I'm glad you gave me my lesson. I'm not sure if it would had worked with anyone else as well.
You seemed to tried to hide it but I did see. Considering what this is I'm not sure how you planned to hide it from me. I always was scared of this day because I wasn't sure how I would react or feel. I didn't want to experience pain from the stabbing of the heart trying to rip from my chest the way it felt when I discovered that you truly were moving forward. I didn't want to experience the loneliness and shamefulness that I felt when you came to me cause you were hurt but didn't actually want back what I wanted but I gave into what you wanted.
I didn't feel anything. Not even a pring of sadness tickled across my heart. No anger when it was brought up to me several times from people wanting to remind me of the past. It was just another day for me. Something that meant nothing to me and that made others excited for themselves.
I guess that is my sign that I have finally moved on and cut all the ties that I had connected. Just not caring that it happen. Not being effected by something that was there for so long.
I want to thank you though. You have been the biggest lesson of my entire life, especially since you have been there for most of it. I thought things were going to turn out different, most of us did but you make choices in your life and it takes you elsewhere. I have learned so much about myself and there is so much more to learn. I hide myself away hoping that I could fit in that cookie cutter shape that everyone liked but I am not that cookie cutter. I am actually a really awesome person. I am kind and soft. I am slow to anger and easy to forgive. I rarely give up but I don't let any in. I am a long laugh and a quiet cry. I am a rainbow in a hurricane. There is so much more to me than one layer.
I am worthy and perfect with plenty of imperfections. I am lovable even when the storm rages around me. This makes me valuable and I'm sorry that you never saw any value within me. I have finally seen it and eventually someone else will too.
I'm glad you gave me my lesson. I'm not sure if it would had worked with anyone else as well.
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