Purge the mind
I'm feeling some things today. The past couple of days I have just been so down on myself and not even for a good reason. It has made me want to give up on myself though.
I didn't have my kid on Saturday and I was like yes, this is great. I can go on a date and just relax. So I was going to meet up with one guy and everything was fine and going well all day then he decided that he couldn't meet with me that night. So that bummed me out but I was like I'll just meet up with this other guy that I've known forever. Yeah no, he told me at 2 am that he couldn't hang out. Which ok, I was tired at that time cause I'm old but jeez you would think that he would had said something sooner. That just got me down like not only was I able to strike out one but twice in the same day.
I just got in my head that night thinking about how I can't even get a dude to hang out with me. I just want someone to sit with me and tell me that I am pretty. We don't have to talk, we don't have to do anything, Truthfully I don't care what they go and do afterwards. I just want someone to give me just a little attention and then I will be happy. I don't need to see you every day just once in a blue moon. I'm such an easy person to please and yet here I am.
Ugh. Why would any one ever want to date? This is terrible. Haha I want someone that I can call up when I am lonely; Am I terrible?
I know that this is just me being stuck in my head but I am really having a power struggle over what is happening. Maybe I just need to purge myself from the internet and social media for a few weeks and let myself regain control over who I am and where I am at emotionally. Just purge the wants out of my mind.
I didn't have my kid on Saturday and I was like yes, this is great. I can go on a date and just relax. So I was going to meet up with one guy and everything was fine and going well all day then he decided that he couldn't meet with me that night. So that bummed me out but I was like I'll just meet up with this other guy that I've known forever. Yeah no, he told me at 2 am that he couldn't hang out. Which ok, I was tired at that time cause I'm old but jeez you would think that he would had said something sooner. That just got me down like not only was I able to strike out one but twice in the same day.
I just got in my head that night thinking about how I can't even get a dude to hang out with me. I just want someone to sit with me and tell me that I am pretty. We don't have to talk, we don't have to do anything, Truthfully I don't care what they go and do afterwards. I just want someone to give me just a little attention and then I will be happy. I don't need to see you every day just once in a blue moon. I'm such an easy person to please and yet here I am.
Ugh. Why would any one ever want to date? This is terrible. Haha I want someone that I can call up when I am lonely; Am I terrible?
I know that this is just me being stuck in my head but I am really having a power struggle over what is happening. Maybe I just need to purge myself from the internet and social media for a few weeks and let myself regain control over who I am and where I am at emotionally. Just purge the wants out of my mind.
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