Love letter 2

 To the boy that I loved first, 

You were the first person I ever had strong feelings for. We were young and the best of friends. We were inseperable and I wont forget it.

We had a crazy time growing up together. I don't remember how we met but I just know that one day you showed up and we were stuck like glue to each other. We did everything from sunrise to sunset together. Ok, that's an exaggeration but that's how it felt.

We played video games together, we rode our bikes and skates together, we ran from my yard to yours. We were wild chasing the lightening bugs and dancing in the rain.

You didn't live near me but your family did. I would anxiously wait for you to visit on the weekends so we could just spend our time together. You were the first person that made me feel what it is like to be free and gave me no reason to hide away parts of myself like some friendships make you feel like you need to do.

I remember sitting in your aunts house playing a spongebob jellyfishing game. We took turns over and over trying to beat each others scores. I remember sitting in my floor playing a mickey mouse game, the one with the tower on the sega, and we tried over and over to beat it. We never were able to beat the tower. I honestly can't remember a specific thing that stands out aside from feeling the sun kiss my skin when we were together riding our bikes with our hands out like wings.

I remember going to the park and seeing you there after it snowed like crazy. My cousin and I brought a sled and you had your snow board. You were so proud of your board and went down trying to show off. You made it all the way down and face planted. You laid there for a few seconds before throwing a thumbs up and us cheering for you like it was the best thing we had ever seen.

Then there was that day that you came over to have a serious talk with me. I was so confused because that wasn't who we were. We laughed and chased each other, we teased each other, and we pushed each other. We sat down in the bed of my dads pick up as the sun was lowering in the sky. 

We sat facing each other and you just look down at your feet like it was the hardest thing you ever had to do.  You looked me in the eyes and told me that your aunt was moving and that we wouldn't get to see each other anymore. My heart shattered and the wind was knocked out of me. It felt like time slowed down in that second causing me to really feel the hurt of those words.

I asked why you couldn't just come over and you said that you had asked and they told you that they weren't driving out just for that. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't just do that because you were my other half, my best friend. You understood the heart break that came with it too. You knew that our days were numbered better than I did. You were the one who understood me the most.

As we sat there in silence, you told me that your aunt said that we weren't too young to date. I remember just being appalled that it was even suggested. She didn't know us, there was nothing romantic about us. We just were us. 

When I think back on that moment, I understand why it just wasn't a question for me but I also wonder what would had happened if we agreed to date. Would we have been able to see each other more. Would it had been allowable to be in each others lives. Would we be in touch today or would things has ended poorly.

There is a lot that was missed when we grew up and never ran into each other again.  There are moments that I always wanted to be there for as a kid and never got a chance. It makes me wonder if you ever did any of the things we talked about and if you have moments in your life where it triggers a memory of me. I hope that you have grown into a great person that thinks back fondly to the years we had growing up.

I genuinely hope that we run into each other one day and get to catch up. That you have a beautiful life and family that you get to tell me about.

If the time ever come, I'll be here.