Love Letter 8

 To the boy who was there from the beginning, 

There are very few years where you weren't there in the beginning of my life but just about every other memory of my childhood has you in it.

You were my companion for all my adventures. My pretend husband. The best swimming buddy a girl could have. A secret holder. A doctor for my injuries. A listener. The best baby doll dad. A competitive racer against me. My first kiss.

It's kinda strange that you were there so much. You don't hear about the kind of bonds that last through most of your childhood, vanish, and then come back in your young adult years. We were an exception weren't we?

I wish we were still close. I know that life has a way of mixing up everything but I should had tried harder to keep in contact with you. You really were the best friend.

What happened when we were kids? I can't think of a time where it was like a breaking point. It was just a slow fade it seems like.

I remember your mom about died when you "delivered our baby". Lmao! What were we even doing playing that kind of game. We really had no shame. Your play house was our "house" where we lived. It was our cottage out away from everyone.

Then there was the time you stole my first kiss. You had asked to kiss me but I still thought boys were gross. You told me you had a secret and I leaned in to hear it. You kissed me right on the lips. It was the biggest shock and I didn't know what to do. You were so proud of yourself that you told your mom.

We didn't talk for a long time other than greeting each other in school. One day after I was in high school and was with my boyfriend, you just walked back in my life. You got along great with him. We hung out a few time all together.

Then you made an off hand comment. You all were talking about who you were dating and you said if they're rich you gotta marry them up before you lose them. My boyfriend laughed and I was once again in shock.

That was never a way that you thought before. At least that was not something you expressed when we were younger. I guess it's true that you could had thought that when we were younger but it wasn't as big of a deal because we were 10.

Once again life swept you back out and I didn't really hear from you other than greeting one another in the hallways of school. 

Mostly, I sit back thinking about the fantasy world we built together and how good that would be now. Then that comment sneaks back into my head and makes me stop. 

What made you say that? Was it really a desire to have money and sit comfortably even if you didn't love the person or was it to show of in front of another guy? I don't understand.

Maybe one day you'll find this and be able to answer me honestly.

I'm glad that you were a big part of growing up. I can honestly say that things would had been strange without you. You helped create who I am today.