Love Letter 10

 To the boy who made me know wrong place, wrong time exists, 

Even met someone and connected with them on a different level that you didn't know was even possible? You understand each other and build each other up, give sympathies, always listening and helping in ways you don't want to. You gave this to me.

I'm not sure if I can put into words how you and I fit together but I'm going to try. To be honest, I can't even remember the first time that we met. It was a kid function, casualties, normal things that you never think twice about. I can't tell you if we even shook hands.

After every event we'd stay behind and talk about the kids, the event, the other crazy parents and our friends. There was never any time that it was awkward. We talked about everything. We helped each other with the kid's activities. 

Then we began running into each other outside of the activities. We would chat and then carry on with what we were doing. I actually had a crush on your best friend. Of course, he was married and that dropped quick. 

The more we talked it was like the more we fell in tune with one another. I'm sure that there wasn't anything that I wouldn't tell you because I trusted you. I'm not sure how it was on your side but there wasn't much that you wouldn't talk about with me either. You were a protector when it came to me. You always made sure that I was ok and would check on me whenever you had the chance.

I'm not sure if you felt it but I know did. It felt like we were intertwined from some distance place. Like we met at another time and lived a wonderful life together. Everything was easy with you. Everything was in the moment.

There was a line from the beginning though. You see, you were married. You loved your wife very much and you never got close to that line. I respect marriage too much to even think about looking at the line. We never questioned it. We goofed off as best friends, respected one another, and had fun. 

Then you told me you were moving and my heart broke. You said that you had to leave for the money, and I told you that was dumb. You tried to explain yourself, but I just wasn't listening to it. I could care less if that was the reason that you were leaving. I made sure that you understood why I was upset with you, but I tried to be open minded when you said it was for your kid. 

After a few weeks you changed your mind and decided you were staying. We laughed and cut up like it never happened. You seemed happier. More relaxed in life and enjoyed it. 

Finally, you told me you were seriously moving, and it was closer than originally. This one shattered my heart. It felt like my soul was being ripped in two. I knew this time you meant it. You promised that you would come back, and we would catch up. I think that it hurt you too. The look of disappointment on your face when you told me.

You hugged me goodbye a few days before you left. Then the day came, and you said goodbye. You left as quick as you could. Maybe you were late or maybe you're just bad at goodbyes and hurried on out. Whatever the reason was, it was crappy.

A few months after you were gone rumors began circulating around town. Someone who knew that we were friends asked me if I had heard anything on you and your family. Of course, I hadn't, we didn't talk when you left. You just dropped out of my life. I had no idea how you were doing. She began telling me what all she knew. 

Apparently, you had lost your kid to your ex, and she was keeping him wherever she lived. Your wife was seeing a new man and you were getting a divorce. Basically, that your life had fallen apart. I felt bad for you, but I didn't reach out. Who knows if it was true. Rumors spread all kinds of misinformation and I didn't want to play into it.

Then you began posting online about your wife and it was clear that you were very upset. You were lashing out at her because she did have a new man. Not my business even if you did posts it online for the world to see. It seemed like you finally calmed down accepted this after some time. 

You made a trip back and never reached out to catch up. That was a little bit of a bummer, but it was ok. It wasn't like I was your best friend. We had only hung out for a couple years. You have family and friends that you grew up with that have priority. I know that's who I would visit if I had moved away.

We talked online some but that eventually became you reading and not responding to my messages. It happens with life and I know it. People just run out of things to talk about. 

Any who, this is my goodbye to you for me. 

I hope that you are enjoying your life. You are at a new place with new people experiencing new things. You are doing what you wanted to do. I hope when you find a moment of peace you look out and think about what a good friendship we had. I hope you remember good things about me. Thanks for being a part of my life. Thank you for giving me the sense of protection. Thank you for being you.