Love Letter 12

 To the boy who was way too eager, 

I shouldn't even be making this letter, but I am making letters to everyone that I have some kind of love for, not exclusively romantic. And to be honest there is not any kind of romantic love for you. 

When I first started talking to you, you seemed pretty cool and laid back. I appreciate that in a person. Then I met you and you were nothing like you were before. You were pushy and no wasn't an answer.

When I said no you tried to turn the words and make it sound like a different story. I eventually gave up and gave in. 

I don't think that you even realized that you were doing it and that is what makes you even scarier. 

There isn't anything that I want to say to you. I guess that leaves me with a thank you I don't want to grant you. I am thankful that you helped put my guard up and made it harder for me to trust anyone again. You broke what I freely gave away. 

When people are being nice to me, I know that more than likely it's because they want the same thing that you wanted. 

When people try and get to know me or get closer with me, I'm already on edge and try and push them away.

When people touch me to comfort me, my skin crawls thinking about how everyone only wants to help themselves. I can't help but wonder what they want from me like you did.

I'm doing the best I can to put back my pieces and it's hard. I don't even trust my own self anymore. Everything is harder now because of you. 

I don't have an ounce of love for you that I can find but you have impacted my life more than you should had.