Love Letter 13

To the boy I wanted to believe in, 

I thought you were different. I wanted to make you out to be this wonderful person, but you turned out to be just like the rest of the snakes hiding in grass. 

Why does everyone always seem so nice when they are talking to you face to face? You were always kind to me. Talked with me politely. Then turn around and tell people that I wasn't worth much. 

Funny to think that I had praised how nice you were and how you cared for other people. You probably did with your family. I'm not going to sit here and make you a bad guy but from what I knew and saw and encountered, that wasn't it. 

I like that you were respectful with my momma and my sisters. That made me think that you were special. Truth be told, you weren't from my group and maybe if we had met first, it could had been different. 

Then you had to go and make fun of me wanting to write novels. You stood there in front of everyone and couldn't had made me feel any smaller saying 'yeah, wanting to write stories but how many have you sold? How many people are going to want to read what you write? You aren't going to be successful'

You had never read anything that I wrote and who told you that was what I wanted to do professionally? It never came from me. You put your foot in my life where you could find a place to just kick around and mess with it. 

I am sorry though. You'll never get the chance to read this. I wish that I had done this letter first and I could had sent it to you. I probably never would have sent it cause what good would that bring while you were laying in the hospital bed.

Your passing was unexpected. You were still so young and had so much left to accomplish. I'm grateful that you've had such an impact on my nephew's life. I wish the progression hadn't gone that fast so that you would have had a little more time here. 

I am thankful for you in the small part of my life too though. You helped put a fire under me. You made me more determined than I expected just to prove you wrong.