Love Letter 14

 To the man that went too far, 

You still make my skin crawl and it's been many years but not long enough. I can't get you out of my head and I still get uncomfortable. I want it to end, so I'm going to write this to the universe because I never want to tell you to go look for this.

First off, fuck you. 

Secondly, I was 13. I was a child. I was innocent. I believed grownups would always try and help you, but you proved that wrong. 

Thirdly, you can get fucked. 

Dear Universe. 

Can I have a break? Can I just find something to calm my spirit? Can I find someone to weld together my pieces? Haven't I had enough for one person? Am I not putting enough good and kindness into the world? 

I want to have the boring, happy ending. I want to lay in bed with the person I love and feel at peace. I want to be protected even when I don't think I need protection. I want someone that makes me laugh until I cry. I want someone that is excited to come home to me and excited to take me out and show me off. I want the dumb fights that don't matter but we fight them anyways because we're both hardheaded. I want the kisses that leave you gasping for air. I want the "we'll figure this out together" because we want to do it with each other. I want to give 100 and take 100. I want someone to push me and stand behind me because I do it for him. I want flowers for no reason at all other than he was thinking of me. I want to sit in the floor and eat ice cream and watch movies because we made it a date night tradition. I want him to wipe my tears and smile because I cry over love scenes, and he genuinely loves that it is my weakness. I want someone that cares about my heart and does everything he can to keep it safe in his hands. I want him to accept all parts of me even if it scares him. I want raw, unfiltered, pure love. 

You know where I am universe. I'll be here waiting.