The countdown pt 2

Breathe. 20 minutes before you leave and lose everything you've ever needed.

It didn't seem real when they told you 19 days ago.

You begged, " Please! Don't do this to me! My family is my life. Please! Take the last of our money!" as you pull out your wallet that only has 18 dollars in it but filled with pictures.

17 men surrounded you and jerked you to the ground; Everything fluttering down to you giving you a realization of what is to come.

You repeated the words 16 times. I can do this to save them. Over and over to help you remain strong.

You gave yourself those short 15 minutes when you got home to be alone and cry out your emotions before you spoke them into the foundation.

14 glances in the mirror to make sure your face is sturdy for the destructive news.

This will be the first time since you were 13 that you have to make sure things are prepared for them.

There are 12 things that you know of immediately that has to be prepared.

You have to steady your trembling hands, flexing them back and forth 11 times

10 deep breaths. You walk out to look for them to gather everyone at the table.

You make it 9 steps down the hallway before the trembling begins again.

You look over and see 8 shoes that you will never have to pull back towards the door again.

There are 7 seconds in each inhale that your holding your breath, counting, before you blow it out giving you something to focus and concentrate on.

You call out from the kitchen sitting in one of the 6 chairs that circle the table

All 5 of your fingers run across the grain of the table, trying to memorize this spot.

The members of your family trickle in slowly, taking up 4 seats and staring at you with fear in their eyes.

3 hands reach up and caress your arms as you break the new. 

The 2 oldest glance at each other and nod knowing that their dynamic has changed.

1tear falls from you eye.