Detonation

 Well, Y'all. It happened. I had my first accident. A deer decided to play tag with my car and won. 

I was headed home last night after hanging out with a guy. -Side note, I want it to be know that I did in fact win Bananagrams with him. Don't let him tell you otherwise-. I was driving along and see a deer up ahead in the road. It was some distance ahead. I slowed down and she started walking back into the woods. So, I pick my speed back up to 60 and right as I get up where she is, she darts out in front of me. 

I slam on my brakes and skid right into her. She got my driver's side so my headlights broke out. Fender is loose. Hood is cracked and bent. Frame is pressed in, and I can't make a right-hand turn without it grinding against my tire. When I stop Eartha groans and shakes. 

Anywho, my car is sliding across the road heading for the ditch. The deer slid up on my hood and I thought for sure that she was going to come through my windshield into the car with me. But you know, I was trying to correct my car, so I didn't go over the hill into the ditch and the deer slides off and across the road into the ditch on the other side. I've been cursing the deer the whole time, just hollering at it for being a dumbass. 

We both get stopped moving and I'm watching her. She stands up and I swear to God she mean mugs me before running off. Like she was offended that I hit her, and she was at no fault. So, I drive up the road some to find a place to pull off and assess the damage to see if I can still make it home. I mean there is fur caught is all the places on my car. I ultimately decide that I'll make it. I beat myself down the whole way home because I never trust wildlife on the road, I don't know why this time I did.

I get home ready to just cry myself to sleep because I know this is bad. I message the guy and let him know I'm home safe and he makes sure that I'm fine. I'm so mentally and emotionally exhausted at this point that I just crash and honestly it was the best sleep I've had in a while. 

I talk to my mom when I get up this morning because I have to get this kid to school and have to borrow her car. I'm not sure I trust just driving my car at this point other than an emergency. Take the kid to school and were talking and looking at my car. She says Jac, I think this is totaled. That's a blow to me because it doesn't look super bad. I ask why she thinks that and why I can't get it fixed. She says the damages are going to cost more than your car is worth.

Let me give you a little back story about Eartha. She's a 2007 Toyota Yaris. I got her in 2010. I've had this car for 13 years and she has been the absolute best thing. I love her so much. She is perfect for me. I have committed so much of myself to her. I have done so much with her, and she is the steady part of my life. She is my family. There have been so many trips, experiences, people, cruises, vacations that we have done together. I feel like I am losing a piece of my soul when I hear that she is totaled. 

News begins traveling through the family about what happened. I email my sister at work and let her know that our weekly milkshakes are going to have to take a backseat for a minute until this is situated. My other sister calls and talks to me and makes sure that I am ok and I didn't get hurt. I call my other sister and she's just as devastated as me but makes sure that I didn't have any physical damages to me as well. My stepdad tells me we can pull the frame back out if we can find this specific tool to help. 

The day goes on and I'm still just bummed out and broken hearted. I've mopped around avoiding any responsibility. So, my sister that I emailed, video calls me on her lunch and checks on me and asks to see the car. She says it looks rough and she's glad I'm ok but then she says something that hadn't crossed my mind. She says how did you get home? I said I decided it was ok to get home, so I drove it. She said how did you drive with the air bags?

Shit...what?

Y'all....the air bags didn't go off. 

The air bags didn't go off. 

I was going 60 when I hit this huge ass animal and my air bags didn't go off. 

I don't know whether it was extreme luck that it hit just so perfectly that the air bags didn't go off and I was able to get home or if it was extreme luck that I hit this huge ass animal instead of another vehicle and could had been seriously injured because the air bags didn't go off.  

It was this moment that I began to be thankful that I was ok even if Eartha isn't. I was thankful that Eartha protected me in that moment that all I got from it was anxiety and tense muscles. Well, and a stress headache but that's a given. 

She tells me she's coming over after work to look at it and hang out for a little while and goes back to work. I've been messaging this dude I went to school with that told me he was going to teach me how to take care of my car. I want to learn the ins and outs of how it works. How to make sure everything is where it should be. How to align my tires and check all my fluids. Just everything because I think it's important to understand how things work. 

This dude is like yep. She's totaled. When you get a new car, I'll teach you how to take care of that one. I was like cool...but this is my first accident. I paid outright for this car. I don't know how to get a car anymore. He picks on me about it and tells me it's going to be ok, that I shouldn't stress about it. Let me tell you this is a guy that changes cars like he changes clothes. I guess he realized I was really stressed about it, so he offered to take me around and look at cars on Friday. That was really nice of him to basically go hold my hand while I panic.

My sister finally got off work and came over tonight. She looked at my car then chewed my ass. She told me that I should had called her when it happened. I said it was in the middle of the night I didn't want to wake you up and make you stress or come save me. She said Jac, that could had been really bad. I don't care what time it is. You call me in the night any time that you need me, and I'll be coming. Then she went after the guy I had visited. Why didn't you call him when it happened? You were close to him, weren't you? Would he had not come get you if you needed it? Why would it be a burden to him to have you call him if it were an emergency? You need to start trusting people to help you and take care of you. You can't do everything on your own. You already do too much.

After my ass chew, she crawled in bed with me and cuddled me until I fell asleep. It was nice having her so fiercely protect me and be concerned for me but also realizing that I just needed some quiet and laying down with me to watch some murder show. I will never be able to express my gratitude of love and admiration for her. 

Oh, and just for funny sake. I should say that I did call my kid when it happened. He said oh my god mom! You hit a deer! Did you kill it or is the deer ok?!

My little animal lover had to make sure that the deer was alright before he was concerned about anything else. Specifically, if his mom was hurt.