I'm back to my senses.

 I apologize for that last letter. I'm back in my head again and not smitten because a boy paid me simple attention. That's the bare minimum that I should be getting. I should have someone begging for my attention. I am a beautiful creation of wonder and excitement. I am a gift that someone would be lucky to have. I have a great personality. I'm pretty cute. I'm a whole person that is fun and exciting but down to earth and reliable. My god complex reminds me ever so often.

You know, for all I am concerned he can go out and screw everyone he wants. Talk to millions of other people. Live how he wants. Not my issue. Whatever he chooses to do, good for him. I'm happy for him.  Which means I do what I want as well. Talk to millions of guys. Screw who I want. Whatever I feel like doing, I'll go and do it. He is not spoken for as am I.

And I'm not mad at him. I don't know who he is talking to or what he is doing. I just realized that I was letting this feeling get to my head and I can't be doing that. I won't do that. Especially when I'm aware of where I stand.

My aqaurius mind sometimes like to create this pretend future where I can see myself and whomever I am smitten with. Living life and being in love. Doing cute shit together. Growing old. 

But that's not real life. 

I open my dating apps and I am flooded with guys wanting to talk to me. I open social media and I'm getting messages. It's not like I don't have options. I just have preferences. I can guarantee that 99% of the time, I'm looking at redheads or country boys. I can't tell you why. 

So, I will go ahead and reset my focus. 

Money baby. 

I have so much that I want to do with my life. There are so many places that I am dying to see. The world is a big place and I want to see it. I am going to see it. 

I'm going to create a big list that I'll share, and I'll go there. Come with me. Tell me cool spots I need to see. I'm open to it all. I don't want to live in a small bubble and never experience what is out there. We live in a huge place with millions of hidden gems you never get to experience.